You fit the second category quite well.

Speaking as a guy who knows his drugs, you can’t physically do both crack and heroine at the same time. Crack speeds up your heart rate while heroine slows it down. If you did both, your heart would literally explode. Also, it’s physically impossible for a crack and/or heroine addict to even remotely physically resemble any one fat, due to the nature of the drugs.
Science, bitch

Then become a whore